InHo Kim – My Faithful Journey

Life Stills of a Korean-American Man/Husband/Father/Pastor


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To My Mother(s)

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Theresa and my mother – the women of my life

So. . . I’ve received new boxers from my mother each year well into my late 30’s. Yes, even years after I was married. There, I’ve said it! And I don’t mean the cheaper brands like Fruit of Loom, or walmart or . . . not that there is anything wrong with those. But these boxers are the nicer, softer, more stylish and expensive designer brands like Polo and Calvin Klein. I bet you have a different image of me now or you think of me as a “mama’s boy”. And you know, you would be partially right.

See, I left home when I was 18 and never looked back. Well, there was that one year after college when I went home for a year to figure out what the heck I wanted to do with my life, but other than that, for all intensive purposes, that was the last time I lived with my parents. And yet, whatever I was doing and wherever I’ve lived, this small package came to my door year after year, full of 5-7 new designer boxers. I may not have had money to buy designer clothes, but one thing was for sure, underneath my outer clothes, I was very couture.

These thoughts have been in my head because yesterday was Mother’s Day, and I miss my mother terribly from over 2000 miles away. Living in San Francisco, away from my parents who live an hour outside of Detroit, Michigan, we only get to see and embrace each other once or twice a year at the most. And my mother for the past 6-7 weeks has been ill. She’s had a bad case of gout for the past 4 weeks and just as she was recovering, she has contracted shingles which made her immobile again for the past 2 1/2 weeks. For a very active woman in her very youthful mid 70’s, this has been hell for her.

The gospel passage for this past Sunday’s lectionary is from the farewell discourse in the Gospel of John. In the midst of Jesus telling us just how much he loves us and just how much we are to love, in verse 11 he says this, “I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.” As I read the lectionary passage this past week, this was the verse that struck me more than others. What joy was Jesus talking about? This was the discourse at the end of his life when he would be betrayed, humiliated and nailed to the cross. Where is the joy in the midst of all this suffering?

But then, just this past Wednesday, we received a package. I know what you are thinking. No, it was not several pieces of couture underwear. It was a box of 3D puzzles that my 7 year old son Ian has been wanting, a box that he saw when we visited my parents in Michigan 2 years ago. Now that he is a little older, they sent it to him with a little love letter plus $50 in cash for him to use. And use it he did. He’s been wanting a Ninjago Destiny Bounty Lego set for half a year now. He’s been saving his small allowance that we give him each week since January to buy this particular lego set. He only had two more weeks to go before he could afford it, but now he had more than enough. So this past Wednesday afternoon, he and I drove all over the Bay Area for over 1 1/2 hours to track down what he has been dreaming of for over 5 months.

As we were driving home, he called my mother. The excitement of his voice was palpable and yes, so was my mother’s voice on the speaker phone. Even in her weakened, depressed state, the joy of my mother for my son came through so clearly over the speakers of my iphone. My mother lives for her children and her grandchildren. She gave up so much to mother and raise her kids and now pours that same love onto her grandchildren. I can say that I’ve suffered some in my life, mostly of my own doing, but hearing the stories of my mother, I haven’t suffered one iota of what mother has gone through in her life. Yet love and joy exudes from her whenever she cares for her family and now her growing extended family.

Yesterday as part of the worship service, I asked the congregants to come forward, take a multicolored flower and invited them to say the name and/or a prayer for our mothers and/or mother figures. We ended this time by reciting a prayer that my friend and colleague Abby King Kaiser wrote in her blog about our mothers.

So I write this as a love letter to my mother and to our “mothering kind”, who cares, loves and nutures us, our families, our children, our congregations, our communities, our earth and our world. My deepest gratitude for all of you.


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International Women’s Day – Faith of Sarah

sarai1Today, March 8th, is a celebration of International Women’s Day. It is a day to celebrate the achievements of women around the world. In the Presbyterian Church (USA), today is the Sunday to celebrate the gifts of women. A while ago, I came upon a blog by Julie Clawson, that challenged people to synchroblog or synchropreach about women in scripture. As I was doing some research about International Women’s Day on the web, I stumbled upon a timeline of the suffrage movement in the United States. As I quickly browsed the timeline from its beginnings 1776 to 1920 when the 19th amendment allowing women to vote was ratified, one thing became adundantly clear. It is that with any movement, there was much pain, tears, sweat, toil, moving forward then taking two steps back, but all along the way, there were women like Susan B Anthony, who wanted to make the world a better place for all and who held on to the promise that God created all people equally, “in the image of God, God created them; male and female God created them (Genesis 1:27).

The lectionary passage for today was from Genesis 17:1-7, 15-16. Instead of focusing on Abraham and the continuation of the promises that had been made a few chapters ago, my focus began to wander towards Sarah, not only what it says in the bible, but what she must have been going through; the pain, the suffering of not being able to have a child. At a time when having a child as a woman was of the utmost importance, and even knowing of God’s promises of descendants, Sarah must have felt much shame and even ridicule.

This makes me think of my mother and what she went through, especially the first 7-8 year of her marriage to my father. Fortunately, or more unfortunately for my mother, she happened to marry a man who is the first son of the first son of the first son and so on going back generations to a king in Korea. Talk about pressure to have a child, and not just a child but a son. She did not have problems conceiving, but had many complications carrying to term. For years, she would talk about her first pregnancy, of carrying to term twin daughters only to see them taken away immediately after the birthing because they were no longer alive. Since that first time, she subsequently had 5 more lost pregnancies before I came into the world. Though none of them were carried to term, most lasted past 4-5 months. Not only did she endure the pain and sorrow of losing these babies, but had to withstand the ridicule from my father’s extended family. My mother, though small in stature, is and continues to be a strong, devout woman, who did everything for her family. Even when she went through horrible morning sicknesses, her in-laws would make her get up 5am in the morning everyday to cook a big Korean meal for breakfast. I witnessed my wife go through morning sickness with both our children. She couldn’t stand the smell of water next to the bed. And here is my mother, cookings, stews, soups, meats, side dishes, though tasty, all smells to high heaven. While living at my father’s parents home, which was customary in Korea, she took much verbal and emotional abuse, much of it caused by her inability to have a child. Of course, she found out after my birth, that the verbal and emotional abuse did not stop. But that’s another story.

I have heard her tell her story many times, and I would always feel hurt and anger for my mother, but I would also feel a tinge of anger towards my father. How can my father, who is medical doctor, let her go through such hardships and pain, physically as well as emotionally. If it was my wife, after a few times of going through pregnancies which so taxes her body so heavily, I would want to stop the process altogether or at least have that conversation. But I also know how strong willed my mother is, and this devout woman always hung on to the hope, no, more than hope, a promise that she would indeed have a child and the child would be a son. If one is counting, I was number 7 and my brother was number 13.

I see Sarah as a devout woman who lived with the promise, the promise that Abram would have many descendants. She is advanced in age. She is still barren. The only thing that she can do to see the promise happen is to give Hagar, her servant to Abram, which was customary at the time. It was not a lack of faith on Sarah’s part, but her willingness to what is necessary to fulfill the promise. This is true of the women who had gone before in the suffrage movement and the women who are continuing that journey to this day. They also hold a promise to make the world a better place for themselves and especially other woman who will come after them. It is the promise that as we are all equally made in the image of God, we should all treat each other in the same way in all spheres of life.

It is intersting to note that in Chapter 17, the promises of God is given equally to both Abram and Sarai. Abram will be the father and Sarai will be the mother of nations and of kings. Abram and Sarai are given new names in this endeavor, Abraham and Sarah. Even God calls Godself by a new name, El Shaddai. Just as in the first chapter of Genesis, here again in Genesis 17, God is again creating anew God’s community and views equally valuable the man and the woman. God continually calls both the man and woman to work together to further God mission and God’s kingdom here on earth. Not only on this day, but the gifts of women should be honored and celebrated everyday.